Still going good.
Im getting impatient. I want my iPad to be here now. But It won’t be here until tomorrow Or thursday
today I got a lot done. I got a lot organized. wrote announcements for our moving. And got some painting done on my furniture.
That was my favorite part. Painting.
During my painting I had a thought. This over whelming feeling of being blessed. I feel so blessed to have such a wonderful husband. I love him and can’t wait until the rest of my life with him.
Back to work today. I feel good. I still feel like myself.
Today I cooked three meals. Two of which I froze. I enjoyed taking care of the little one. And overall it was a good day. Right now I don’t know if I can tell what would have been the best part. The whole day was good.
I feel great. I feel like the cloud that has been looming over me is going away. It’s almost gone. And it better stay gone!!
I feel myself today. I didn’t notice until my hubbie and I were sitting in the car on the way to the ft worth mall. But I was singing along with songs. Laughing. Goofing off.
I hope it lasts. But that was my favorite mOment
Even though today started out badly around 2 or 3 everything got better. I went with a great friend to Home Depot and Lowes. We had a blast looking at things and getting ideas for our new houses.
I think it’s realy helping to talk to people about this. I started telling people about it and they seem to be understanding. More understanding than I thought.
being with my friend and shopping was my favorite part of today.
Any way. Off to day 8
It’s been nearly 6 weeks since my miscarriage… wow, now that I say that It seems longer than I expected it to be.
It’s also been over a year since I started trying to convince my husband to have children. (I guess that’s the first form of “trying”)
6 weeks of ups and downs… 42 days of thinking about it… several times a day.
Physically, I’m okay… my OBGYN confirmed it.
She even announced that we can start trying again.
Emotionally and physiologically I’m not even close to okay.
Every day’s a battle, Every day’s a challenge.
Not many people know that it’s so difficult. Not even my mother.
I feel like a bipolar person. One day I’m happy, able to talk about it.
And able to laugh… really laugh.
And then something happens…
Something small, I see a newborn baby. And the whole day I’m miserable.
Or something big happens, a good friend announces her pregnancy…
And for hours I cry. After that I’m depressed for days.
I feel like I’m climbing a mountain, and when I get close to the top an avalanche knocks me back down and I have to dig myself out of the snow before I can start climbing up again.
All I can hold on to is what my husband said,
“Just take it day by day, and every day is another day”
This is the country where I was born.
The beautiful green land of the Netherlands!
My husband and I went to Europe last March
and visited Holland, among other countries.
Here are some pictures of our travels.
This is one of my favorite pictures of our trip.
This is a windmill we saw on our way to my grandmother’s house.
It’s a small one but I liked how it was in the middle of a field of green grass.
It really shows how Holland really looks. A beautiful country.
This is a picture of a church in my husband’s home town.
Almost every small town has a church in the middle of it.
It’s usually surrounded by a grave yard.
The churches all look different but they are all pretty.
The weather in this picture depicts dutch weather to a T.
Its dark, cloudy, and a bit rainy.
Nasty weather… but that’s why the grass is so green. 🙂
As we traveled I took lots of pictures, these are just a few,
this was in a street close by Wommels.
Holland is lined with lots of little creeks here and there.
Once upon a time Holland was under water,
they pumped the water out and built dikes (large hills) to keep the ocean back.
Now the land is dry, but there are lots of little waterways.
These waterways are usually also the property lines for most people,
instead of fences.
Oh, the bikes. I’m not a bike rider.
I will when I have to but im not very good at it,
and I don’t enjoy it either.
But everyone in Holland rides bikes,
at bus stops you see bikes lined up like here.
Sunset over the beautiful landscape.
At one point Bart really hated stopping the car for me to take pictures.
But he was a sweetheart about it. 🙂
Our main reason for going to Holland was to see family,
I’m not posting all the family pictures.
Just a few pretty pictures I took along the way.
Hope you enjoyed the post, Holland really is a beautiful country.
If you get a chance to go I give you this advice.
Don’t stay in Amsterdam, that’s like going to the USA and staying in New York City.
Holland has a lot more to it than just the big city.
Yes! We’re moving!
Our rental contract ends in February, then we’ve been in business for 3 years. Wow, has it been that long?
We found another dairy that we can move to.
If you have a dairy you know that it’s super important to live close by. The negative side to this is that there might not be much to choose from when it comes to housing. We live in a double wide now, it’s a nice place and has been good to us. But I was secretly hoping that we could move into a real house next.
The dairy does have several mobile homes on the property, and a double wide in decent shape.
HOWEVER… There is a house down the road.
OUR NEW PLACE!
About a half mile away we there is a cute little house. Now, take the word “NEW” with a grain of salt. It’s an old house, shag carpet and everything. But I’m going to have a wonderful time DIY’ing everything! After my miscarriage I had to take some time off and be on bed rest.
Let’s just say that Pinterest was my best friend.
I’m going to blow up my blog with ideas and show you how I fix up this house. I even have my husband’s ok to spend a lot of time, and a little cash to make it “ours” (even though it’s a rental)
Get ready Cottage… here I come
The only frustrating thing is that I have to wait until January to work on it.
I’ll update you later
My husband and I have been married for around a year and a half; we’ve been together for nearly 5 years, living together for 3.
Even before we were married we talked about kids. Of course, we had other plans first:
– Get married
– Live a happily married life for a while
– Graduate college
– Get our own health insurance (with maternity)
– Make sure the business is going steady
– Have good savings
– Make sure we’re ready for the time and responsibility
I don’t know how we could possibly be better prepared. We had our list checked off, dairy business is never steady, but we were finally doing good.
I have been taking care of kids since I was 15 and finally we were going to try for our own. Bart even knew what he was getting into, since we were now taking care of Taylor several days a week; since she was two months old.
We heard lots of stories about people trying to get pregnant for months or years; so we were trying to stay realistic about the whole process. We were never under any illusions that being pregnant would be easy.
Surprisingly, we were pregnant within two weeks. We went to my OB/GYN afterward and did lots of blood tests and a new pap. Everything turned out great. I have no problems/bad family history. We decided to wait until the first sonogram to tell family and friends. It was wonderful keeping it to ourself for a while. It was a nice little secret between Bart and I.
Our first sonogram was so exciting! It was wonderful and cute and sweet all at once. Overwhelming! The doc said that everything looked great. Nothing to worry about. We took that as a go-ahead and tell family and friends. Thanksgiving day we announced. We called Bart’s family and we gave my family a huge wrapped box with pink and blue helium balloons in it.
That wait between the 8 week sono and the 12 week checkup took FOREVER! On the 12 week mark we started to get some worrying symptoms, I wont go into details. But we went a few days early to the doc for a check up.
The whole time you’re worrying about it, you fear the worst. But you don’t want to believe that anything is wrong. Still holding onto any shred of hope.
They tried to find the heart beat with the doppler, and couldn’t. Still we hope.
They do exams. Still we hope.
They order a sonogram. immediately I saw that something is wrong, it was small and wasn’t moving on the screen. Still we hope.
The doctor came in and told us the bad news. Somewhere between the 8th and 12th week the baby had died. It could have been as early as a few days after the sono. We were having a miscarriage.
That morning we were going through the emotional side of things.
Small things hurt, like remembering when we read that the baby was about the size of a lemon. Feeling pregnant even though the baby had died. Getting things in the mail, little gifts. Hearing that other girls were getting “knocked up” when they didn’t have a stable relationship or money to take care of a baby. Those things stung.
And having to tell everyone, our private tragedy was becoming very very public.
That afternoon we put it on Facebook, getting it right out there. Then in the evening I ended up in the ER because the pain of the whole process was so bad.
Plans are postponed, dreams are put off.
But we will try again when we can. The fear now, is a big Question Mark ?
Will it happen again ?
I guess we’ll just have to wait and see. One day I’ll get my bundle of joy. I’m staying positive. But it’s hard.
Can you believe that one in three pregnancies result in miscarriage?
Well, that’s what the doc says. I guess in some weird way it gives me hope that this was just one of those statistics, and there’s not a bigger problem at hand.
So, On my blog I wrote Top 5 Reasons My Husband Annoys Me,
And now I’m writing 10 reasons why I love him…
So here goes:
Top 10 Reasons I LOVE My Husband
1) He brings the best out in me.
2) He is Loving and really cares about me.
3) He is genuinely interested in my day, school, work, and overall whats going on with me.
4) He is a really good talker, but he’s an even better listener.
5) He is one of the hardest working people I know.
Those were a few mushy gushy things, now for the little things…
6) He takes off his shoes before walking in the house.
7) He takes out the trash. 🙂
8) He sometimes helps with washing laundry.
9) He mows the lawn.
10) And most important! He LOVES Me Back!
It made me feel good, everyone should write this about their husbands…
Hope you liked it!
So I saw this idea on http://www.squidoo.com/my_husband
And I decided to do it too! Except 10 things is a lot to write…
First of all I just want to say that I absolutely adore my husband. And after I post this I plan on writing things that I love about my husband. 🙂
So here it is!
Top 5 Reasons My Husband Annoys Me
1) I can CLEAN CLEAN CLEAN and CLEAN some more but I usually have to tell him before he notices, sometimes I just want to have some recognition for all I do.
(By the way sometimes he does notice by himself)
2) At night before he goes to bed he will kick his socks and underwear off and lay them at the side of the bed. I’ll say, if those are dirty why don’t you just throw them in the hamper? His answer, they aren’t dirty I’ll wear them tomorrow.
(He doesn’t wear them tomorrow and I will end up putting them in the hamper)
3) The deep fryer… I hate the deep fryer, not only does its food go streight to my hips, it stinks up the whole house and leaves a greasy mess. My husband is the king of the deep fryer, it annoys me that he refuses to use it outside.
4) He says he cleaned up after himself in the kitchen but he doesn’t clean it up all the way, there is usually still a knife laying out, or lots of crumbs
5) He will get finished washing his hands and he will shake the water off of them… after that I can clean the mirror, counter top, sink, and floor all over again.
I know these are little petty things but I adore my husband even though there are a few things that annoy me about him…