Starting off badly

Day 7 is starting off badly.
I’m not allowing myself to talk negatively in my daily happiness posts. But that doesn’t ban me from bitching in my other posts, right?
I’m laying here in bed at 12:48, day 7 just beginning. I haven’t slept yet and all I’m doing is crying and typing. I’ve decided to branch out a bit and talk to some friends about my depression.
Side note: I hate that word, depression. It makes me sound like such a looser. Like I’m a suicide risk (which I’m NOT!) I wish there was another word for what I am. Besides depressed… Emotionally challenged? Ugh, any thoughts? Maybe I’ll google it.
Anyway… I started telling people about my emotionally chaneged-ness.
I told my BFF.
I told my pregnant friend, mostly to help her understand my unwillingness to talk about her “situation”.
And after ignoring my aunts emails for weeks. I just sent her one back. Which brought me to my current state of tears. Her daughters have had issues with depression. So I feel like she’ll understand, maybe even have advice.
So, here I am. Typing and crying. I’m done emailing her. And I still can’t sleep so I’m typing more. Typing this post, at freeking 1:00 in the morning. Knowing that no-one is going to read it.
Even if no-one reads this it still makes me feel better.
Job done.
I really hope the rest of day 7 is better… I’ll update you later.
Now I’m off to google “depression”.

About lindavanruiten

I'm a 20-something graduate, with a degree in computer information systems. My lovely husband and I own a dairy farm here in Texas. Like everyone, I've had my struggles and acomplishments. This blog displays my hobbies, like DIY crafts, home remodeling, and renovations; it also displays my art, including oil painting, charcoal, pencil drawings, photography, and other mediums. I also have a category called My Thoughts, which is filled with trials and tribulations, funny stories, and of course - thoughts. Anyway, hope you like it... and FOLLOW ME!

Posted on February 2, 2013, in My Thoughts and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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